Short and Bald says NO WAY to “Sexy at Any Size”

Just when I didn’t know what to blog about, I come across an idiot whose comments make it almost impossible not to go "Julia Sugarbaker" on his ass!

BTW - that was the lead character on Designing Women back in the 80’s who was always up on her high horse about something.

I was looking on Amazon.com at some plus-size books and came across, SEXY AT ANY SIZE: The Real Woman’s Guide To Dating and Romance. Since I’m married, I’m not exactly in the market for dating and romance, but I thought I’d check out the reviews because I love to hear what "Real World" people think about stuff.

Here’s a review from "Mr. Meed" (in black text) the reply I posted (in red to match my mood).

Most of the reviews (for this book) seem to come from larger women who desperately want to believe that men are just as attracted to "real women" (codeword for "plump", "heavy", etc.) as they are to slender ones.

As a man (who has had gazillions of candid discussions with other men about the subject) I can tell you that nothing could be farther from the truth. Approximately all men have a preference for slender women–not heroin addict thin women–but firm, slender women who can "pinch less than inch" around the belly.

Unfortunately, looks do count; and short, balding guys like myself have to accept the fact that women just don’t see us the same way they look at tall guys with a full head of hair.

In the same way, large women have to accept the fact that their size does inhibit their attractiveness to men (with very rare exceptions). Otherwise, market forces would have long ago compelled Playboy to feature 200-lb women instead of slender ones.

This book is political correctness tilting windmills at reality. The author, Katy Arons, has built a publishing empire trying to convince women that weight doesn’t matter. Sorry–but it does.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that if you are a large woman you need to slit your wrists. All you have to do is diet and exercise, and you will have more suitors than you could possibly handle.

Mr. Meed,

In regard to your statement: "Of course, this doesn’t mean that if you are a large woman you need to slit your wrists. All you have to do is diet and exercise, and you will have more suitors than you could possibly handle." I’d like to say this:

1) The subtle reference to suicide as being an acceptable option for plus-sized women is deplorable, insulting and immature on your part…whether you meant it "tongue in cheek" or not.

2) Since you admitted to being a "short, balding guy" I wonder if you are, in fact, giving yourself the same advice, i.e. do you have hair transplants and shin extensions? Do you strive every day to change your physical appearance to fit a society standard that is, by Nature’s very design, only inherent in a small faction of that same society?

It’s been my experience, as a large and luscious woman who never lacked for suitors during her 10 years of single-living before I married the most wonderful man on the planet 8 years ago, that men like you are why books like this are written.

It’s precisely men like you who expect that, because "most men" prefer a slender woman, you’re entitled to one as well as will accept nothing less. In fact, I’m sure that your standards for women are probably much higher than those held by the "tall guys with a full head of hair." In fact, the last man to proposition me was just that: 6 foot 5, full head of hair, handsome smile…and I know for a fact that his pretty wife is in great shape. What on earth could he be thinking?

Mr. Meed, you’re asking plus-sized women to lower their standards (perhaps to include short bald men?) but I wonder what your standards are? Have you ever dated a woman who wears above a size 14? Have you ever dated a woman who would be considered plain, or, God forbid, even ugly?

But perhaps I’ve misjudged you and you’re one of those sincere men who see inside a woman to her personality, character and intellect. Maybe you’re one of the good guys who rise above base animal instinct and use these qualities when choosing your potential partners.

Or perhaps you lack the confidence. I’ve found, from first-hand experience, that it’s these men - the ones without confidence or independence of thought - who simply want some "arm candy" or a "trophy wife" so that he can, as you said, "have gazillions of candid discussions with other men" about how hot she is so you can gloat about how much they’d all like to have her themselves. I think this would be on par with men who buy sports cars…it’s always about making up for some internal inadequacy so as to impress those guys in the locker room that you’re as "cool" as they are. A grown man with a teenaged mentality is such a sad thing. My condolences to you and the less-than-perfect women who have to be around you.